I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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