It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
