So drunk its hurt
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize