she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
