It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize