The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
