finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
