did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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