he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize