Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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