you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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