Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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