Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I intend to get homeless drunk
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
