Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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