did you get engaged???
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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