Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
