I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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