It's just like the Real World with babies
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
