She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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