First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
