Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
