THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?