Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.