Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.

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  (407): I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up. http://tfl.nu/laen
  Replies (13) Good night (3601) Bad night (914)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  why was he too nerdy?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was a tetris block for halloween

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  (314): why was he too nerdy? (919): he was a tetris block for halloween http://tfl.nu/svcq
  Replies (56) Good night (5642) Bad night (1268)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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  (630): I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti. http://tfl.nu/166m
  Replies (21) Good night (1320) Bad night (6778)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.

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  (423): There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself. http://tfl.nu/9xij
  Replies (15) Good night (3331) Bad night (874)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

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  (978): Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you. http://tfl.nu/83yp
  Replies (5) Good night (2991) Bad night (1412)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

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  (712): Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi http://tfl.nu/26u7
  Replies (3) Good night (2158) Bad night (1130)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.

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  (614): Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie. http://tfl.nu/il2e
  Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (1580)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1677) Bad night (833)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.

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  (623): Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight. http://tfl.nu/ky5x
  Replies (3) Good night (2106) Bad night (1367)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

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  (317): do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards? http://tfl.nu/y683
  Replies (16) Good night (2257) Bad night (1104)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1

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  (865): We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1 http://tfl.nu/rd3z
  Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (636)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment

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  (302): I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment http://tfl.nu/03jc
  Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (749)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

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  (972): Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff. http://tfl.nu/rug2
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (382)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?

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  (208): Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess? http://tfl.nu/auqt
  Replies (6) Good night (919) Bad night (310)
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  (661): View more from California

  Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.

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  (661): Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract. http://tfl.nu/nfjs
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (134)

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