She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
