I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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