Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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