your room smells of hookers.
And success
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
