the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
