Michael Bay diarrhea
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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