need another drink. this is the easiest way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
