talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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