You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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