Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
