He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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