there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
