Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
