you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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