It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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