Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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