How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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