OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
