"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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