i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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