You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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