Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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