i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
