I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
