He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
only if we run a train.
done.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
