I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
