you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
