You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
false alarm, still single
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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