My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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