you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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