break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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