u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
