I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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