I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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