Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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