Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
