If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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