i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
