I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
