she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
