I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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